I LOVE GENERAL CONFERENCE! - Week 30

I think the change for me when I went from “enduring” General Conference to actually looking forward to General Conference was April 2002, the month before I left on my two-year mission to Sao Paulo Brazil. I remember paying much closer attention, writing notes, looking for inspiration and answers to prayers. I certainly found what I was looking for when I learned how to dive deeper into the Spirit which was manifested through those inspired messages. I have followed this pattern for the last 20 years, and it has never disappointed me. Each time I find new insights, correction, inspiration, and direction for my life.

This time, I recognize I have been feeling somewhat burned out due to the busyness of my responsibilities here. I needed some spiritual rejuvenation. What do you know, those were the exact words President Nelson used in his opening remarks! I am so grateful for the additional emphasis of several speakers, to the youth in particular, to serve a full-time mission. I add my testimony to theirs that those two years taught me so much about how to serve, lead, love, teach, learn, and work. If I had to restart my life a hundred times, I would make that decision every time. I sacrificed two years of my life and other pursuits for the God I love even more, and He has “richly blessed me” for it ever since. There are so many blessings in my life today that never would have happened had I not served. It made me who I am today and continues to positively influence my life.

These conference messages also reminded me of my resolve to serve this mission I am on now with conviction, fortitude, and consecration. Though certainly not a proselytizing mission, I am still serving the God I love in different ways. Each time I give a talk or lesson in Church, lead a resiliency group, meet with individuals in a counseling setting, or give a presentation on conflict management, teamwork, or suicide prevention, I am sharing my testimony of God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ in a variety of ways.

As I listened to Elder Holland speak of helping those with depression and suicidal ideations, and then Elder Kearon speak of those who have been affected by trauma, I listened very intently. These are the mental health challenges I work with most often as a professional counselor, and even here in this deployment. I loved to hear of their affirming messages based on the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the truth about who we really are, and the help that is really available. I felt the distinct impression that the Lord has prepared me to help Him in the work of healing His children affected by these conditions. I feel a sense of gratitude and humility that the Lord can use me to do His work. I pray every day that He will continue to do so, because there is no greater joy than to serve my God by serving His children.

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

The Children of Abraham - Week 29

I know I have said I had busy weeks before, but this week has been the busiest yet! It has been pretty stressful at times with a lot of work to do. I finished the last class of the “Becoming a Resilient Family” group I have been facilitating on Sunday nights, gave two suicide prevention classes, was the keynote speaker at a “Prayer Breakfast” and gave a message on teamwork, and covered the responsibilities of two chaplains since my boss is out for a few days on a mission. I also took a physical fitness test (which went well, but I was pretty sore for a few days). So, I have been looking forward to a relaxing Sunday, which today has certainly been a much needed day of rest.

Yesterday we got to do a “Cultural Staff Ride” to do a tour of the local “Grand Mosque.” It was a beautiful building and very sacred to the people who worship here. As I learned more about the purpose of their daily prayers, their devotion to God, how they use beautiful calligraphy for decoration so as not to have anything close to idol worship, and the significance of the architecture, I felt connected to our fellow children of Abraham. 

These are the descendants of Ishmael who have been blessed by the faithfulness of our father Abraham as well. We have more in common than most people realize. I love that our Church recently published interfaith materials on the website and Gospel Library App regarding Islam. 

One of the symbols often used in Middle-Eastern sacred buildings is the 8-pointed star (concentric squares). This symbol was handed down to Ishmael as a sign of the covenant of which he was a part, which symbol Abraham received from Melchizedek as a sign of the priesthood. This symbol is very prominent in many temples of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as well, especially the San Diego Temple.

I sat staring at this artwork in their calligraphy gallery for a while because it has the “99 names of Allah” in Arabic, including Redeemer, The Holy One, etc. I felt a connection as I reflected on the names we attribute to Jesus Christ as well.

So many people misunderstand Islam and stereotype those extremists who participate in terrorism or other violence as a part of this peaceful religion. When we take the time to really understand each other, we truly have more in common than we think and together worship the true and living God of Abraham.
 
In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

The Price of Growth - Week 28

I assume that there are at least a few people who still read these weekly emails that Dana posts on the blog. Honestly, I have been trying to stay faithful to these weekly letters more as a way of journaling my experiences than to update others on what I have been up to. So, if you will allow me to be more vulnerable this week, I am still processing some things today.
This deployment has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but for slightly different reasons than what I anticipated. I knew the family separation would be hard, and that still is one of the hardest parts. But what makes that so challenging is feeling helpless and powerless to help my wife and children when they go through hard things. I sometimes catch myself wondering if this has been worth it, which is one of the reasons why I try to capture the good in the ministry I have been involved in, to remind myself. I know my family struggles with my absence in different ways, and I hope my children can one day read these journal entries and understand what all of it was for. 
I reflect back on the answer Dana and I received to our prayers about this deployment, and still feel reassured that this is where the Lord needs me right now. Yet I still feel guilty for not being able to be home to help my family. Some days are just completely exhausting, especially with the job I have been given here that often stretches me beyond my comfort zone. Thankfully, Sundays are usually rejuvenating. Today was one of those days that the Lord reminded me why I am here and how He is using me as an instrument to bless others.
One of our church members bore his testimony today since it was his last Sunday here. He wished upon everyone that they would go through challenges and struggles while on this deployment… which was weird to hear someone say in bearing testimony… but only because through those challenges and struggles we can come closer to God and become stronger than we ever were before. He testified of a time in his deployment when he was really struggling and mentioned it to a “friend” (referring to me) who responded, “Where are you? I am coming to you right now.” We met that day and several times after to work through his struggles. Hearing him witness how much of a difference that meant to him, how much he has grown since then, and how the Lord used me to bless his life, I once again submitted humbly to the Lord with gratitude that He put me in the right place at the right time and gave me the right words to say.

(LDS Service Members Group)

I met with another Soldier this week who is going home soon. She was concerned about how she is going to handle the transition back home to her spouse and children since this deployment has been so difficult for her and she has been bottling up many of her emotions about that. We discussed ways to help her transition, including self-care, recognizing and expressing needs and expectations, setting boundaries with herself and others, and other tools to help her grow closer to the ones she loves instead of pushing them away. I could see the relief in her countenance as we finished our time together that she felt much more confident in her ability to reconnect with her family upon returning soon. It caused me to reflect on how I plan to transition home in a few months as well. I thank the Lord for letting me be a part of His work to bring peace, comfort, reassurance, and most importantly love to other’s lives. I know He is making a difference here, and I hope I can continue to recognize His hand and guidance in all things.

One last neat experience I had this week was meeting with a British Army Chaplain. It was wonderful getting to know him, hearing his explanation of how chaplaincy works in his country and his perspective on ministry to the Armed Services through love and not just social work. We discussed many of our similarities and perspectives on how God uses us to show His love; how that can not only transform others, but ourselves along the way. He told us of a 2-month road trip he took with his family through the Western United States and how much they loved the National Parks and In-N-Out Burger. I once again found another kindred spirit in the few hours we were able to spend together. We traded contact information to keep in touch and I feel grateful to be a part of the Interfaith Relations our Church is encouraging us to have.

So, one thing I want to remind myself: It’s okay that this is challenging, it’s okay to have struggles. What matters more is what you do with it. Seek to stay close to the Lord and your covenants, focus on Him and His love instead of the challenges and struggles, get to work and serve others, and the resulting growth and closeness to Him will be worth the price paid to receive it. Challenging times are the greatest opportunities for growth… don’t waste it! 

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

Sweet Is The Work - Week 27

This has been one of the busiest weeks of this deployment so far. We have had a lot of personnel moving into and out of the area whom I am partially responsible for helping with their transitions and training. I was also asked to give a 90-minute training to all the Chaplains and Chaplain Assistants in the area (about 50 soldiers) this week. I presented on Conflict Management and the Arbinger Institute material “The Outward Mindset.” 

Ever since I learned of the Arbinger materials about 10 years ago I have been working to implement it into my own life and it has made a huge difference in my relationships. I use it often to counsel others in conflict relationships as well.  Apparently, I did too well on the presentation because I was asked to present at a “Resiliency Symposium” last night and a “Prayer Breakfast” in 2 weeks. 

I actually do enjoy speaking to audiences even though it takes a lot of time to prepare and energy to present in a meaningful way. That is because I can see the positive influence it has on people, and it reminds me of how much God can use me to spread light into other’s lives and healing in their relationships. One of the Chaplain Assistants came and talked to me afterward for about an hour about the challenges she has been through in her family relationships and how this material reinforces her desire to heal from them and use them to help others.
 
I had a Soldier come in to see me this week who is about to redeploy home. This has been a challenging deployment for her because of some very negative experiences with her leadership. She came in to vent about her frustrations with trying to do the right thing but was just exhausted. She asked me what she should do. I don’t like this question because it puts too much responsibility on me to have all the answers or be accountable for how she decides to respond to her circumstances. So I was honest with her and told her “I don’t know, but I know where you can find your answer.” 

I felt impressed to open the scriptures with her and read from the Book of Mormon in Moroni 10:4-5. I read it out loud to her while inserting her name into it reminding her that when she prays with a sincere heart, real intent, and has faith in Christ, she will receive her answer through the Holy Ghost. I could tell she was frustrated by this answer and was looking for me to just tell her what to do. But I stuck to the counsel and expressed confidence in her ability to use these experiences for good. I reminded her that we can have profound, revelatory experiences in our worst moments while going through the gravest injustices. We have learned this principle from examples like Joseph Smith in Liberty Jail and Joseph of Egypt. 

Well, today in church she spoke and bore her testimony of how this counsel led to some profound experiences for her. She started carrying her Book of Mormon with her every day again and started reading it from the beginning while inserting her name into the stories and counsel given. She received her answer as to what to do and felt empowered by the Lord. I was grateful to see the Lord’s hand once again in allowing me to help make a difference in someone’s life. It’s those moments that help me endure through the challenges of family separation and remind me that I am here for a reason.
 
In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

Cultural Experiences - Week 26

This has been a stressful week with my work responsibilities. Between that, a severe sandstorm, and allowing my feet to heal from practicing ruck marches this week, I was ready for a break. 

Thankfully, we had an opportunity to go to a local restaurant in town yesterday with some amazing food. We also went to a local cultural event where there were camels, songs, and dancing with swords! 

I was offered tea several times and was able to politely decline without offending anyone (I hope), because I didn’t want to have to explain that it is part of my religion to refrain from tea, among other substances. The most awkward part was when they brought around a chalice with burning incense. I could see as I watched the local men that they would wave the sweet-smelling smoke into their nostrils and breathe it in. 

This is a custom that has been popular in the Middle-East due to being around large groups of people who are sweating from the heat of this place and don’t usually wear deodorant. Well, the smell in the room was fine to me and I wasn’t about to inhale some strange smoky substance no matter what it smelled like. So I took a deep breath before he got to me and waved the smoke like everyone else, because I didn’t want to be rude with declining another local custom, and exhaled slowly as he walked on to the next person (Don’t worry mom, I didn’t inhale!). I’m sure it would have been fine, but really I just wanted to observe respectfully. 

Another local custom that took some getting used to was watching the local Middle-Eastern men greet each other. I could tell when they barely knew each other they would shake hands gently. If they knew the other, they would kiss each side of their cheek. If they were well known to each other, they would touch their noses together. As I took some time to process this, I found it endearing to see people who come from nomadic tribal culture show each other signs of trust and respect. I don’t think I’ll be perpetuating this custom among my own social circles, but I do enjoy being immersed in local culture and people. 

God’s children come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and customs. I often feel like I did on my church mission: just serve the local people no matter how different they are from you, and you will learn to love them. As I seek to see them as God sees them, I do feel love for them. I have started to see our commonalities as well. I am grateful that the Lord has given me these experiences.

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

God Be With Us - Week 25

I finished working with a Soldier this week after counseling with him for several months. He was going through a lot: a pending divorce, losing his job before deployment, physical problems, and the challenges of this mission he is here to do. I love the last session when the people I am working with “graduate.” I like to review with them where they were when they started, how they have grown, what they did to get there, owning their progress and empowering their efforts, and encouraging them to continue applying what they have gained. This man has made some amazing progress in just a few short months. 

As a Chaplain, I am able to point out how God can shine light in their life throughout their challenges. As I help people recognize how they have seen God’s hand in their trials, it reaffirms to me how God works through many people, because He loves each and every one of us; even the ones who don’t know Him well or follow Him. Our greatest trials bring us closer to Him.
 
I went to a presentation this week that emphasized our military partnership with the local Nationals. It made me feel proud of the country I live in and to be a part of our nation’s military that partners with other countries to bring about freedom and basic human rights. I know this week has seen its share of the atrocities of war in other parts of the world. There are so many political and military agendas I won’t get into here. But this much I know: God has blessed our nation for a reason. We have a duty to help share freedom throughout the world and be a positive influence for good wherever we can. 

We know that there will be “wars and rumors of wars, and the whole earth shall be in commotion, and men’s hearts shall fail them” (Doctrine and Covenants 45:26). I pray for those people involved, especially the innocent lives, and I hope that our country can help in bringing about peace. But if not, I trust in the Prince of Peace, I trust “in the wisdom of him who knoweth all things” (2 Nephi 2:24), and “I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things” (1 Nephi 11:17). One day we will see the purpose of God in all this, and I know He is with us in many ways that we don’t often recognize. In the meantime, we hope and pray and do what we can.

In His Service,

Chaplain John Critchfield

Becoming Resilient - Week 24

During the last 3 weeks I have been facilitating the course “Becoming a Self-Reliant and Resilient Family” here on our installation. It is a manual the Church published back in 2016 for military members and families especially, but can also be useful for other families who go through similar challenges of family separation etc. We have about 7 people attending so far. It has certainly been a growing experience for me. I think a part of me wanted to provide this course for my own growth and benefit as well as those who are here as well.

So far we have discussed how to build personal resilience, spiritual self-reliance, and resilience in our marriage. I know I feel inspired each week to work on something specific to continue building my resilience. Family separation has been the hardest part of this deployment. Though I am able to stay in contact with my wife and children fairly regularly by video call, it’s not the same as being there physically to support each other in our challenges and difficulties. 

In a way, it forces us to build our connections in other ways such as empathic listening, encouragement, affirmation, prayer and fasting for each other. We each set goals at the beginning of this deployment and try to check in with each other on our progress. We share things we are learning in our experiences and gospel study. But there is always room for improvement, and I am grateful for this manual that gives us some ideas to ponder and allows the Spirit to guide our growth.

One of the goals I set was to complete a military education course online during this deployment. I am required to complete it to eventually be eligible for promotion to the next rank. It is a challenging course that usually takes an average of a year to complete, and I have spent many hours and months in it already. I finished a major milestone this week having completed the 2nd of 3 phases in the course, which is well-known as the hardest part of the course. 

I am grateful for the grace of Jesus Christ which strengthens me to accomplish more than I ever could on my own. This week has been another testament to that fact again for me. I am reminded of when I was in graduate school when I was working four 10-hour days at one job, two 8–10-hour days at internships for 17 months, one weekend a month in the Army Reserve, Church responsibilities every Sunday, and we had 3 children by the time I finished. I felt the Lord’s empowering grace upon me during that time in my life too and continue to see how much He can accomplish through me when I seek Him. 

Studying about Abraham this week reminds me that nothing is impossible with the Lord and when I am willing to sacrifice anything for Him, He will bless me and my family far beyond what we sacrifice. I trust in Him that the sacrifices we are making now during this deployment will bless us and many others, as long as we continue to consecrate our efforts to Him.

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

Children Of The Covenant - Week 23

One of the neatest experiences this week happened through a Service Member Group Leader I helped to get established in Jordan. He had an investigator in his unit who was interested in the Gospel. I helped coordinate with him and Military Relations at Church Headquarters, as well as the local priesthood leaders to teach, interview, and eventually baptize this young man. And because they were in Jordan, they had the opportunity to perform that sacred ordinance in the Jordan River at the site known locally as the site where Jesus himself was baptized by John. What a sacred experience!

I spoke in Church today about “Love” since tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. I spoke about the many meanings of the word “love” in the Greek language, how important it is to foster different kinds of love for friends, loved ones, our country, ourselves, and our God. I reviewed the evidence of God’s love for us. I also spoke on the obstacles to this great commandment of love: pride, selfishness, anger/hate, pain/hurt, fear, and shame. When these feelings permeate within us, love can be difficult to attain. I shared how repentance and forgiveness, with the help of God through prayer and the power of the Atonement of Christ, can help us overcome these obstacles so that love can fill our hearts.

As I have been learning more this week about the Covenant God made with Abraham and continues to extend to those faithful in these latter days, I continue to be awed by the love God has for each of us. Abraham made some mistakes of his own. He was not perfect, and he went through many trials. But God remembered him and his posterity despite all of that, and because Abraham continued to submit himself to God. The fact is God chose Abraham, and Abraham continued to choose God despite all his challenges and setbacks. God’s love reaches through generations, and He remembers those who make sacrifices to choose Him.

I am grateful to be a child of the covenant, to make those covenants myself with God, to see the blessings that God has poured upon me and my family for our sacrifices to Him, to feel His ever-present love despite my weaknesses, and to share those blessings with others in any way I can throughout the world.
 
In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

Honor The Fallen - Week 22

As part of our Army Chaplain doctrine, our three core competencies are: Nurture the Living, Care for the Wounded, and Honor the Fallen. Most of my time spent in the chaplaincy thus far has been to nurture the living through religious support. I guess you could say I care for the wounded through counseling as I tend to their emotional, mental, and spiritual wounds. I have had few opportunities to honor the fallen. This week presented one of those opportunities.

On Thursday we received news that one of our Soldiers in Syria had died. That night we found out he was being transferred through the airbase close to us on his way back to the U.S. So the three of us chaplains and our two religious affairs specialists (Chaplain Assistants), drove nearly two hours to the airbase and waited for the flight to come in. We were on standby for a few hours and met with mortuary affairs to discuss the details of what we were about to do. We sat in the nearby cafeteria until 2:30 a.m. when we got word the plane was about to arrive. 

We drove our small procession out onto the flight line, stood in formation on two sides behind the plane and watched the honor guard, slowly and with exactness, march up the ramp of the back of the plane. The Chaplain in charge at the airbase had a few moments with the fallen Soldier and his escort to say a few words before the honor guard slowly picked up the metal casket draped with the American Flag, and with sacred dignity marched slowly to the transfer truck as we saluted his remains. 

As I watched that casket pass by, I prayed in my heart for his soul to be received by a loving Heavenly Father who was aware of his sacrifices, for his family who will be mourning his loss to be comforted, and for the Service Members standing at attention beside me who are struggling with their own emotions about this event and many likely reminded of their own losses from their past. As they closed the doors to the truck and we all rendered our final salute, the truck made its way back to mortuary affairs where he would be kept until his next flight came in to take him home. 

This short ceremony is what we call a Ramp Ceremony. I was thinking later about the sacrifices we made that day and night to be there to honor this Soldier for a five-minute ceremony. There was only one Soldier there who even knew this fallen comrade, none of the rest of us knew him personally. His family was not here to see this. But it was all worth it to Honor the Fallen.

One of the secondary reasons we do this is to show each living Service Member how much they would be honored if they became one of the Fallen as well. It gives us a sense of belonging, courage, and security to know that our sacrifices mean something to our brothers and sisters in arms and to our country. We are therefore more willing to bear them.

I wish I was allowed to take pictures of this event. But hopefully some of these internet photos will give you an idea of what a Ramp Ceremony looks like. This memory will forever be ingrained in my heart and mind.

In His Service,

Chaplain John Critchfield

Building Zion - Week 21

This week has been very busy in the religious operations office. It has been mentally exhausting, and I am so grateful for good people I work with who make these tasks more bearable. To be honest, I don’t enjoy the administrative tasks. I would rather just work with people, which is why I chose the counseling profession and chaplaincy in the first place. But I also know the administrative tasks are a necessary part of enabling the work. I just have to keep reminding myself of that. 

I enjoy the break from office work by continuing some ongoing counseling sessions with a few Soldiers as I mentioned last week. I am also grateful I get to video chat home most days to connect with my family, especially since this week was Chelsea’s 9th birthday. I read her a book called “The Invisible String” through the Bob Hope USO program and sent it to her, which is a story that reminds us that we are all connected in our hearts, no matter where we are.  

I have been studying this week about the City of Enoch called “Zion” and how we are called to build a Zion community in these latter days. When I reflect on the teachings of the scriptures and prophets about this topic, I think of ways I can improve. We all need to let go of contention, pride, and selfishness in order to be a Zion people and become “of one heart” as we all focus on Christ. But it starts with me, then in my own home and personal relationships, then in my Church and community. 

I think of ways I donate through the Church to help the poor and needy and am so grateful for organized religion, which empowers the ability to so much good in the world with organized efforts that we would never be able to do individually. My own family has benefited from these donations in my youth as I grew up the youngest of 6 children raised by a single mother. The people who were there for my struggling family helped us be a part of Zion. I try to recognize those opportunities to do the same for other families. 

Let’s face it, regardless of what is in our bank account, we all have needs, struggles, and sometimes suffering. As both a Chaplain and Counselor, I see the gifts the Lord has given me to sit with people in their suffering and help them find meaning and purpose through their challenges. I see them heal and grow through that suffering and it reminds me that I am using my gifts and talents to build Zion here and now. I continue to remind myself that in my way, I can “become one” with others as I meet them in their pain and challenges and from there help them grow closer to that which matters most to them. Hopefully that is God and Christ, because all true healing comes through them.

One of the ways I have felt inspired to help build Zion is by facilitating a course here on Sunday evenings with the curriculum of “Becoming a Self-Reliant and Resilient Family” which is an LDS Church manual for military families. We will start next week and I am sure I will have much to write about through that experience. Here is the link for those who are interested: Becoming a Self-Reliant and Resilient Family (churchofjesuschrist.org)

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield