I assume that there are at least a few people who still read these weekly emails that Dana posts on the blog. Honestly, I have been trying to stay faithful to these weekly letters more as a way of journaling my experiences than to update others on what I have been up to. So, if you will allow me to be more vulnerable this week, I am still processing some things today.
This deployment has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but for slightly different reasons than what I anticipated. I knew the family separation would be hard, and that still is one of the hardest parts. But what makes that so challenging is feeling helpless and powerless to help my wife and children when they go through hard things. I sometimes catch myself wondering if this has been worth it, which is one of the reasons why I try to capture the good in the ministry I have been involved in, to remind myself. I know my family struggles with my absence in different ways, and I hope my children can one day read these journal entries and understand what all of it was for.
I reflect back on the answer Dana and I received to our prayers about this deployment, and still feel reassured that this is where the Lord needs me right now. Yet I still feel guilty for not being able to be home to help my family. Some days are just completely exhausting, especially with the job I have been given here that often stretches me beyond my comfort zone. Thankfully, Sundays are usually rejuvenating. Today was one of those days that the Lord reminded me why I am here and how He is using me as an instrument to bless others.
One of our church members bore his testimony today since it was his last Sunday here. He wished upon everyone that they would go through challenges and struggles while on this deployment… which was weird to hear someone say in bearing testimony… but only because through those challenges and struggles we can come closer to God and become stronger than we ever were before. He testified of a time in his deployment when he was really struggling and mentioned it to a “friend” (referring to me) who responded, “Where are you? I am coming to you right now.” We met that day and several times after to work through his struggles. Hearing him witness how much of a difference that meant to him, how much he has grown since then, and how the Lord used me to bless his life, I once again submitted humbly to the Lord with gratitude that He put me in the right place at the right time and gave me the right words to say.
This deployment has been one of the most challenging experiences of my life, but for slightly different reasons than what I anticipated. I knew the family separation would be hard, and that still is one of the hardest parts. But what makes that so challenging is feeling helpless and powerless to help my wife and children when they go through hard things. I sometimes catch myself wondering if this has been worth it, which is one of the reasons why I try to capture the good in the ministry I have been involved in, to remind myself. I know my family struggles with my absence in different ways, and I hope my children can one day read these journal entries and understand what all of it was for.
I reflect back on the answer Dana and I received to our prayers about this deployment, and still feel reassured that this is where the Lord needs me right now. Yet I still feel guilty for not being able to be home to help my family. Some days are just completely exhausting, especially with the job I have been given here that often stretches me beyond my comfort zone. Thankfully, Sundays are usually rejuvenating. Today was one of those days that the Lord reminded me why I am here and how He is using me as an instrument to bless others.
One of our church members bore his testimony today since it was his last Sunday here. He wished upon everyone that they would go through challenges and struggles while on this deployment… which was weird to hear someone say in bearing testimony… but only because through those challenges and struggles we can come closer to God and become stronger than we ever were before. He testified of a time in his deployment when he was really struggling and mentioned it to a “friend” (referring to me) who responded, “Where are you? I am coming to you right now.” We met that day and several times after to work through his struggles. Hearing him witness how much of a difference that meant to him, how much he has grown since then, and how the Lord used me to bless his life, I once again submitted humbly to the Lord with gratitude that He put me in the right place at the right time and gave me the right words to say.
(LDS Service Members Group)
I met with another Soldier this week who is going home soon. She was concerned about how she is going to handle the transition back home to her spouse and children since this deployment has been so difficult for her and she has been bottling up many of her emotions about that. We discussed ways to help her transition, including self-care, recognizing and expressing needs and expectations, setting boundaries with herself and others, and other tools to help her grow closer to the ones she loves instead of pushing them away. I could see the relief in her countenance as we finished our time together that she felt much more confident in her ability to reconnect with her family upon returning soon. It caused me to reflect on how I plan to transition home in a few months as well. I thank the Lord for letting me be a part of His work to bring peace, comfort, reassurance, and most importantly love to other’s lives. I know He is making a difference here, and I hope I can continue to recognize His hand and guidance in all things.
One last neat experience I had this week was meeting with a British Army Chaplain. It was wonderful getting to know him, hearing his explanation of how chaplaincy works in his country and his perspective on ministry to the Armed Services through love and not just social work. We discussed many of our similarities and perspectives on how God uses us to show His love; how that can not only transform others, but ourselves along the way. He told us of a 2-month road trip he took with his family through the Western United States and how much they loved the National Parks and In-N-Out Burger. I once again found another kindred spirit in the few hours we were able to spend together. We traded contact information to keep in touch and I feel grateful to be a part of the Interfaith Relations our Church is encouraging us to have.
In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield
Chaplain John Critchfield
No comments:
Post a Comment