"Grace and Assurance... [to] Stand" - Week 3

Have you ever been placed in a new position where you felt very unqualified, inadequate, and overwhelmed? That has been my life this week.

After two days on an airplane on five legs of a flight to get to our final destination, and maybe four hours of sleep in nearly three days, I finally got some rest. Because my body has days and nights still mixed up, it has taken me a few days of good night’s sleep and trying to stay awake during the day to adjust.

I met my new Chaplain Assistant and Chaplain supervisor who started introducing me to my new responsibilities. I came here with the expectation that I would be able to do direct ministry and/or Family Life Chaplain ministry because that is my specialty and training. However, I was informed that I would be staying in an office most of the time here working on administrative responsibilities and operations that I am unfamiliar with. 

Over the next few days of meetings with our higher headquarters back in the states, I felt very overwhelmed with the amount of information and “operations talk” that is still foreign to me. I am basically working for a Command Chaplain to a 3-star General and am trying to draw on the little amount of training I have had in Army operations. I spoke to my supervisor to let him know I am lost in these meetings and am confused as to why I was put here in the first place. I am the most junior officer here and my expertise is not being utilized in this position. He assured me he would coach and mentor me to get up to speed, to just listen and learn, and I would get it eventually.

Well, after a lot of prayer and study this week, I found comfort in the Come Follow Me lesson reference to Doctrine and Covenants 106:8 which states, “I will give him grace and assurance wherewith he may stand…” It was the answer to my prayers I had been searching for. This whole time of preparation I have been praying that I would be placed where the Lord needs me most, given the strength and guidance to complete His work here, and be used as an instrument in the Lord’s hands. It just turned out to be very different than what I was expecting. It caused me to reflect on my faith and trust in Him, that He has put me where He needs me, and I am really only at the beginning of my mission. There are many ways I will be able to contribute to His work here.

I also reflected on a conference talk from President Eyring many years ago as he reflected on his call to the Quorum of the Twelve, and also felt very inadequate and overwhelmed. He spoke of how the Lord had then revealed to him several experiences throughout his life that He had given him to prepare for this calling. He felt reassured that the Lord knew what He was doing in leading him there, that he was in the right place, and that he was needed. Though I can’t quite say I am all the way there just yet, I find reassurance in these promises and teachings.

I know that if I continue to trust in Him, stay close to the Spirit, and do my best while relying on His help and the people He has put in my life to help me along, I can do hard things. I appreciate your faith and prayers in my behalf to do this work.

In His Service,
CH John Critchfield

Rollover Training - Week 2

Friday was September 17, Constitution Day. It’s the day we commemorate when the original Constitution was signed in 1787; the same precious document that The Lord describes in scripture: “I have established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I have raised up unto this very purpose...” (Doctrine and Covenants 101:80).

It was also the day that I left the United States to fly overseas, to prove my willingness to fulfill my oath to “defend and protect the Constitution of the United States from all enemies, foreign and domestic.” As I said goodbye to my native land I love for the next 9-10 months, with an honor guard bearing the flag as I walked onto the tarmac, I felt a strong sense of patriotism for my country, excitement for the adventure ahead, and humility and honor for being chosen to fulfill a part of my purpose that the Lord has raised me up to do.

This week has been full of nearly daily experiences where the Lord has provided people in my path, who opened up the vulnerable parts of their heart to share with me their struggles, personal defeats, and victories. I used those opportunities to help them process how they have seen divine intervention, assistance, and direction in their lives. As I helped each of them evoke and process their own testimony of God in their respective lives, it strengthened mine as well. 

One such Soldier told me of how he came to know Jesus, was baptized into a Christian church, fell away for some time, had a “wake up call,” and returned. As I told him of my plan to attend my church on Sunday afternoon, he asked to join me. He even helped arrange transportation with one of the training sergeants so we could go. (It was a 10 minute drive away, and our only authorized method of transportation was to walk or get a ride in one of the government vehicles with the cadre.)

The fact that we got a ride in the first place was an answer to prayer, because they kept telling me it may not be possible, until they changed their mind Sunday morning. At church one of the speakers shared her story of how she has seen God’s hand in her life through each of her trials and tragedies in the last year alone. The Soldier accompanying me was obviously touched, and we discussed his experience afterward.

Another experience was the rollover training we did on Thursday. This is a training exercise we go through in a military vehicle simulator where we buckle in, and just like it sounds, it rolls over and over and over. (You kind of feel like rotisserie chicken after a few turns). We end up upside-down and have to practice getting out of the vehicle safely. 

What seemed like a random introduction to a Soldier sitting next to me on the bus ride there, turned into a fascinating conversation about what led her to join the Army, how she has tried to prepare everything she could for this deployment to the Middle East, and how nervous she was for this training. She described susceptibility to claustrophobia and some anxiety. I said to her, “It seems to me that you have often tried to comfort yourself through preparing things and feeling like you have all the material things you need. At the same time, there are some experiences that all the preparation in the world could never fully prepare you for. So where do you find your sense of peace? In things, or in something bigger than that?” 

She proceeded to tell me that she wanted to find that peace in God again that she grew up knowing and fell away from since joining the Army. I helped her identify times in her life where she went through challenges and knew that God helped her through them. I reminded her, “This is one of those times.” I reassured her that she would be fine, I would go through the training right next to her so she wouldn’t feel alone, and afterward she would be able to witness that she did feel God helping her through this challenge too. That is exactly what happened.

I thank all of you for your continued prayers on my behalf. They are working! I can feel the Lord guiding Soldiers into my path and giving me strength and inspiration to minister to them. It is one of the greatest feelings to know that I am being used as an instrument in the Lord’s hands to help others feel His love and presence. Please, keep the prayers coming!

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield

Patriot Day - Week 1

Today is 9/11, otherwise known as Patriot Day. I remember standing in my living room and then in-between classes at college that day 20 years ago watching the news developments of what was happening. My heart ached for those people, but I never imagined I would be here 20 years later, serving my country in the combined effort to prevent acts of terrorism like this again. 

When I felt the call to this ministry in November 2007, I knew that being deployed at some point would likely be a part of the deal. From that day to this one, I have looked forward to the opportunity to serve my God, brothers and sisters, and my country in this unique way. Though this first week has been filled with training, paperwork, and online classes, I have had several opportunities to talk to people, ask them where they are coming from, where they are going, what their mission will be, how they are feeling about it all, and how their family is doing. 

Yesterday, after hearing that our schedule today would be open with little planned and no events going on for Patriot Day here on post, I felt inspired to offer a prayer at our morning formation. So, I approached the Training Sergeant this morning and he agreed to allow me to pray in front of the formation. Fortunately, the staff Chaplain was already here too and prepared to give a brief thought so they were already planning to allow a Chaplain moment this morning. He gave a meaningful, brief message about why we remember this day knowing that it brings memories of grief, pain, and suffering for many. We remember and honor those who died, and those who sacrificed. By doing so we remember that we did unify and can continue to unify our hearts in compassion, dedication, and resilience.

After a brief moment of silence, I was given the microphone and took a few moments to compose myself because I could feel the emotions of that day coming up again combined with my desire to serve now. I had prayed several times yesterday and this morning that the Lord would open my mouth and fill it with what He wanted me to say. I remember praying for those who mourn, that we may be comforted. I prayed for those families and friends who lost loved ones that day, including our brave first responders who sacrificed their lives to save others, and for the many brave Veterans who volunteered shortly thereafter to fight to prevent acts of terrorism like this again. I prayed that we who are about to embark on our mission to continue serving our country would do so by remembering what we are fighting for: our families, our freedom, our faith and values, instead of focusing on what we fight against, and to heal our hearts of hatred. I prayed that the flag we wear on our shoulder that represents our great nation would always be in our hearts as we serve with Patriotism. I had to pause a couple times because I felt a little choked up, but I felt that I said what the Lord wanted me to convey to that formation.

Immediately after and throughout the day, I have had several Soldiers come and thank me for the prayer this morning. I could tell it had a significant impact for several and I am glad I got to help do something to not only commemorate this special day, but also bring the inspiration of God into people’s lives.

In His Service,
Chaplain John Critchfield